Pops

A good friend of mine credits the release of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean for the evolution of deadbeat dads as we know them today. Lucky for me, my dad became my dad prior to the song's December 1982 release. So therefore he rocks.

My relationship with my dad is unique in that it's nothing like what you'd see on tv. We don't hug, he doesn't call to ask how my day was, we rarely exchange I-love-you's and when he has something nice to say to me he usually looks genuinely uncomfortable saying it. Outwardly, he is grouchy and always screaming, cussing and irritated. When it comes to most issues in life, we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. For example, he doesn't vote because "they're just gonna put who the hell they want in office anyhow, so why bother"? I dare you to argue with him. You won't win.

The funny thing is that even without a hug, without him calling to ask about my day, and without the exchange of words, I know he loves me. Which works out pretty well because of how much I love him back. My dad likes to show his love through food. If he feeds you, that's love. He actually invited us over tonight for tuna casserole. Thanks, Dad. We love you too!

When I was around six and we lived on Seton Avenue, I remember sitting on the porch with him. A bee came close to me and he clapped his hands together and killed it. That's the first time I remember thinking how strong he is - my dad, my protector. As an adult, I lean on him more than I could have ever imagined. He and my mom watched my kids every Thursday night while I got through college. When I bought my house he almost killed himself tearing down the walls in my bathroom for the remodel, and literally fractured ribs while moving in a new refrigerator. Flat tire, I call Dad. Low on funds, I call Dad. Need bail money, just kidding. But you get the point...

The reason I make note of all this goodness is because this past Wednesday, my dad's dad (Pops, as he called him) passed away at age 86. Knowing the huge role my dad plays in my life, it's almost inconceivable to watch him lose his own dad. I can count on one hand how many times I have seen him cry, so it was rough to see it this week. But it was also refreshing because good parents show their kids emotion, even when they are "the strong one".

I'm praying lots this week for my dad, all of his brothers and his sisters. We will lay grandpa to rest on Monday, September 24. May he rest in peace.